the opposite of bad

which would be good. that was the kind of day we had yesterday. what kind of blogger would i be if i only wrote about the bad stuff...

she came later that night, the night of my previous blog, and we were silent to one another. we passed like ships in the night, brushing our teeth, washing up, changing into bedclothes... she was in bed 20 minutes or so before me. i thought she was sleeping when i crawled into bed, but she wasn't... she stirred. there was so much tension it made me cry. i was tired of being in our bed with her when we were fighting. it was too much for me, so i got up to sleep on the couch. i couldn't sleep really, just cry. when my crying calmed down, and my tears dried up, i could hear her in the bedroom. she was sobbing. it still breaks my heart when she cries, when she sobs, because she's a tough girl... she's not like me, sensitive, delicate, free to cry at anything and sometimes everything. i went in to her, scooped her head up into my lap, wiped away her tears and brushed her hair from her face with my fingers. she finally started to settle down, and i snuggled in behind her, my knees tucked in behind hers and my arm wrapped around her chest. i do love her.

the next morning didn't seem like a good time to bring up the fight from the night before... i didn't want to talk about it. i wanted to enjoy that moment... the crisp morning air drifting in the window, the soft pillowy down comforter wrapped around our warm bodies, the sugary smell of the sleepy sweat on her neck... it was heaven.

we took care of the dog, called our favorite breakfast place to put our name on the wait list, had a delicious brunch (as usual), then we headed towards Boulder for the day... a little shopping, dinner, running errands. it was a nice day... it was a wonderful day actually. we joked... we even managed not to fight when we could have, when a touchy subject came up. it was pretty amazing. days like yesterday are why i stay. they remind me why i love her, why i want to spend my life with her, why i want to continue building this life with her... they remind me of her beauty throughout.

i just need to hold onto that feeling for as long as i can. pray for me.