My sister says...

Leave her.

Not in a dramatic way, but calmly and maturely leave S. My sister says it's time, and I guess her words have struck something inside me... I like to believe it's something called Truth.

The details don't really matter anymore, but for fun I'll put it out there.

S left this evening as I mentioned in the previous post... she's off "thinking". Little did I know that thinking entails text messaging C after she leaves our home (7 or 8 messages exchanged). Yep, that's right. S left our home at about 7:30pm and said she arrived at the campsite at 9:30pm. The campsite is 10 miles away. I don't know... you do the math. And when asked "is everything okay? it took you a really long time to get there." Her response, "everything is fine, just drove around for a bit...then had to find them [family] in the dark... no worries."

Bullshit.

I might be stupid for love, but I'm not stupid.

I spoke to my sister about it. She gave me some sound advice. Leave. I gently reminded her that S and I live together, our things are entangled, we share a dog. She reassured me not to do it dramatically... don't pack up and be gone before S gets back at the end of the weekend. My sister said--and I realize in the middle of this all that I need her advice, because she's not emotionally invested, she has distance that I don't have, the distance that allows clear thinking--sit down, or don't sit down, with S and tell her I've decided it's best that we split up. My sister says let her go... she might come back, and if not, all the better. She reminded me that I'm a catch after all. And yes, I did forget that. I don't feel attractive anymore... I don't feel fun or interesting or capable or... the list goes on.

So that's what I'll do. I'll use my resources to sort through this... to find a place to stay if I need to, to sleep under the same roof as S but in different rooms even though we won't be together, to go about my business and ask God for direction. I sometimes forget that part. It's okay to ask for a little guidance from the man/woman up above. I'll discuss with S the living arrangements like civilized adults (or try to from my end--which is all I can do). We can divide the belongings in time. There's no rush... I have to remind myself. There's no rush.

I might need a little help navigating this. I WANT your help, your advice, words, etc. This is going to be a huge challenge! Some things I'll probably need to consider (and if you have any you want to add to the list, please feel free): who sleeps where, friends/visitors at home...specifically 'dates', expenses, dog stuff, sorting the belongings, how long we'll both live here (lease goes until oct), etc.

If you think she deserves more time... if you think this relationship deserves more time, let me know that too. I need some serious help here, folks! This one is a real doozy.

Pray for me!